Page 14 - How to Discipline your Child

How To Discipline Your Child  

                         
All children need discipline-it makes them feel secure and loved and helps them learn self-control and how to take initiative, solve problems, and get along with others. For toddlers, discipline involves setting firm limits and promoting good behaviour by giving lots of positive attention and providing a loving, nurturing environment. Because toddlers talk, get around on their own, and generally participate in family life, people tend to assume they understand much more than they do about how they should behave. In reality, toddlers don't yet know that they are supposed to do what they are told; they may oblige only when they feel like it.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to constant scolding, which can make you both feel bad. Instead, respond to your toddler's needs. Spend lots of leisurely time with your child, play with him or her, and smile at, cuddle, kiss, touch, hold, rock, and hug your child often. Always keep in mind that your toddler is not deliberately being difficult or trying to make you angry. The more positive and available you are to your child, the more secure and responsive he or she will be to your requests and expectations, and the less likely he or she will feel the need to test your love and availability by acting out.
Communicate with your child in respectful tones and words-giving explanations rather than accusations. To get your child to do something he or she doesn't want to do, turn it into a game or challenge, such as "1 bet you can't put your toys away before I finish folding these clothes' Instead of yelling at, threatening, ridiculing, or spanking your child for misbehaving, give positive feedback for good behaviour-smiles, touches, hugs, and words of praise. Give positive reinforcement when your child shows caring behaviour (such as politeness), responsibility (such as putting toys away), and following rules (such as not running with food in his or her mouth). Praise your child for learning new skills, and even for trying. The more you praise your child, the more he or she will want to try new things.
Negative approaches don't work to change behaviour over the long term and can escalate to verbal and physical abuse, make your child afraid of you, and make you feel guilty and ashamed. Promises or bribes such as "If you do this, I'll do that" don't work with toddlers because they can't remember from 1 minute to the next what they agreed to. A misbehaving toddler will often respond to distraction. If the child is doing something you don't want him or her to do, offer an alternative toy or activity. You can often change a toddler's behaviour by ignoring unwanted behaviour and giving the child lots of attention at other times.
When setting limits for your child, choose them carefully-too many restrictions become meaningless. You can easily reduce the number of daily confrontations with your child by organizing your home and your routine as much as possible in ways that you, your toddler, and the rest of the family find acceptable-allowing your child.